I was waiting for Mothering Magazine to say something about the recent news items about the relationship between circumcision and HIV. As usual, they lay out the facts and talk about what the science really says: The Truth About Circumcision and HIV: Some argue that recent studies support universal circumcision. The evidence disagrees.

If you've been reading this LJ for any length of time, you know that I was committed to a natural birth before I developed pre-eclampsia with Carter. Unfortunately, his very small size meant a vertical incision was required, which rules out a chance of a VBAC in the future. (I am aware that there are successful HBACs after vertical incisions, but I'm not willing to do a home birth after my experience -- and that's if I'm lucky enough to go full term AND if I'm lucky enough to actually get pregnant again.)

I was pretty devastated about the loss of my ability to give birth, but I'm moving on. And part of my moving on is reading about planned c-sections that are gentle, respect the baby's journey into the world, and are family-centered and baby-friendly (in the WHO sense). In other words, as close as I can get to the birth experience I used to dream about. Here are some interesting links:


Until reading this stuff, I never thought about writing a birth plan for a c-section, or having a doula present. This is really giving me hope that I might be able to have a positive birth experience someday!
jenn_unplugged: (Resistance is futile)
It seems like there is some sort of organized campaign against breastfeeding these days. There are always the asshats who think it's gross and perverted to feed your baby the way God/nature intended, but in this case, the effort seems to have been spearheaded by women who breastfed their babies and somehow found it a miserable experience.

Okay, I get that BFing isn't for everyone, I really do. But why belittle those of us who not only BF, but who went out of our way to make it work by pumping to start or maintain our supplies? Why mock us for that commitment? Clearly Judith Warner had major issues with her own role as a BFing and pumping mom. Fine, whatever.

But if it weren't for the pump, I would never have been able to nurse Carter. At all. Ever. Breastmilk is more than just "best" for preemies; it saves their lives. In the city I live in, if the mother of a preemie doesn't pump, the doctors write prescriptions to get donated breastmilk for the babies. Since they started doing this, NO preemie here has died of intestinal infection -- and there are 5 NICUs in the area.

I was PROUD to pump for my baby, because it was the ONE thing I could do for him while he was hooked up to machines and living in a heated plastic box. It helped me heal from the devastation that is an unexpected premature birth. It helped me cope with almost 8 weeks of visiting my baby in the hospital before he could finally come home. It made me feel like a real mother, something I desperately needed.

So pumping was and is really, really important to me. Clearly Judith Warner has no idea what it's like to walk in my shoes. She makes good points about society needing to support working BFing moms more, but the idea that a breast pump is some sort of torture device that should be relegated to a horror museum (yes, she basically says that) demonstrates not only ignorance of situations like mine, but also the opposite of the point she thinks she is making.

But you know, things like this just highlight to me yet again how abnormal my parenting journey has been. That is often a source of pride for me, but sometimes it just makes me wonder how people can take their fertility, their health, and their ability to bring a baby into the world for granted like that. If you have no trouble getting pregnant, have a healthy, full-term pregnancy, and then go on to nurse your baby for years with no major difficulties, good for you. But remember that some of us didn't get to do it that way, and be grateful.


Feb. 10th, 2009 09:31 pm
Okay, I hate to be catty, but: What is UP with the octuplet Mom's lips? I mean, seriously, there is no way that can be natural.

Edit: Definitely not real. The younger pictures of her are totally different. Watching Dateline, in case it isn't obvious...
The Over-Parenting Crisis

A quote: In recent years, I've encountered a disturbing trend among my current mothering peers. While we no longer pore endlessly over the grout-cleaning tips and curtain-sewing patterns in Ladies Home Journal, we've replaced this pre-feminist housewifery-porn with postmodern parenting-porn in the form of Fit Pregnancy and PARENTS magazines.

We may not stay up nights worrying about how to keep our whites whiter, but you can bet we're losing sleep over why little Jasper isn't yet out of diapers. We may no longer feel the need to compare the firmness of our jello salad with that of the other women at the church potluck, but we're not-so-secretly frantic over why little Ella from playgroup can already tie her shoes when our own five-year-old Ruby can't yet do the same.

In other words, we may no longer be "professional homemakers," but whether we stay home with our kids, or work outside the home, we've turned parenting into its own, highly stressful, endlessly demanding, often joyless undertaking.

I think I missed the memo on that one, heh. I sometimes worry that I'm too laid back about Carter, that maybe there's something wrong with me because I don't worry enough about what milestones he's hitting, or even when they're supposed to be. Maybe it's because he was a preemie and I was never able to rely on the normal developmental charts. Or maybe it's because I'm just such a believer in letting kids do things in their own time, in their own way, which comes from my training in education.

At any rate, reading this made me feel a lot better!
More info on those octuplets. Some interesting stuff in that article. It sounds like the woman has some major mental health issues. 0_o

But what I want to know is how she paid for it. I mean seriously, it cost us more than $15K to have just the one!

March 2013

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