Time for a new pediatrician. :-P

[jenn_unplugged]

This morning Carter had his 6 month well baby visit with his pediatrician, Jill Nichols of the Austin Diagnostic Clinic. Up until today, I've been happy with Dr. Nichols. But this morning she told me he was old enough to start sleeping through the night, and that I should start cutting out his night feeds. When I told her it wasn't a problem for me, that I didn't mind nursing him twice at night (for ten minutes each time), she lit into me. I argued back, because after all I've actually read a lot of the research that contradicted what she was saying. We went around and around about cosleeping: she thinks Carter sleeps in a cosleeper sidecarred to our bed (I started lying about that one after the first visit when she made her opinion on bedsharing clear), and she thinks that's bad because OMG he might still be sleeping in our room when he's two!; nursing at night: she said it would cause tooth decay, despite the fact that there's not much evidence to support that for breastfeeding infants; pushing him to sleep through the night: she thinks I'm doing him permanent damage by "conditioning" him to wake up to eat overnight, despite the fact that research suggests human babies NEED to eat overnight, and so on.

When it became clear that I wasn't going to back down, she said, "Well, I'm very anti-attachment parenting. I think it's a horrible way to parent and produces children who are clingy and far too dependent on their parents." At that point, my jaw dropped, and I stopped talking. I decided there was really nothing more I could say to her. She checked over him, but I only nodded or shook my head at her from there on out. She came back and apologized before we left,
and said she had strong opinions and understood that I might disagree with them, but I still left the appointment thinking this was no longer the best pediatrician for my family.

I will only see her for a few minutes every few months, but I don't feel like I can be open with her now. I'm afraid I won't be inclined to tell her things I probably should, because I'll be concerned that she's judging my parenting. So I think it's time to move on. (I posted about this on a local AP group, and already have several recs for new peds, all of whom are much closer to my house anyway.)

But still, yuck. You know? I'm completely confident in my parenting choices, but it's still no fun to be confronted in that way. I'm thinking I might send her an email when we transfer to explain (in a very reasonable way, of course) why I'm leaving the practice. Or should I just quietly slink away?

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I can tell you when patients leave the doctors office that I work for the doctor needs to know why you are leaving. It may help another individual who has to deal with her in the future. It sounds like she is telling you how to raise Carter based on HER experience as a parent and how she has raised her child, not what she learned in med school. She definitely does not have a good bedside manner in my opinion. I would have left crying for sure! No doctor should ever be that way with a patient or parent. You should never feel like you need keep information from a doctor just because of fear of getting lectured or reprimanded. Something very important may need to be told or missed.
I am so happy you are so confident in the way Carter is being raised. The doctor would have probably made me doubt myself.
I hope you find a doctor you can create a doctor/patient relationship with soon. There are more doctors out there who really care and are not so judgmental.
Personally, I think you are wonderful mother and have already been through a lot. Carter is such a sweet, healthy, bundle of joy!!!!!! You can tell that he is loved and well taken care of. Books, TV, etc cannot tell you how to raise a child it is advice ONLY! I really believe that Mother intuition is a reliable source!
Good luck search for that new ped doc.
Love,
Julie

[jenn-unplugged.livejournal.com]

Right, it really does seem like she's convinced that her way to parent is the best way and she's presenting it to her patients as The Right Way. People don't work that way. There isn't a single way to teach something that works for everyone, or to learn something, and everything I've learned about child development contradicts so much of her attitude.

I'm definitely going to write her a letter!