jenn_unplugged (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jenn_unplugged) wrote2008-07-16 12:56 pm
jenn_unplugged) wrote2008-07-16 12:56 pm
Time for a new pediatrician. :-P
This morning Carter had his 6 month well baby visit with his pediatrician, Jill Nichols of the Austin Diagnostic Clinic. Up until today, I've been happy with Dr. Nichols. But this morning she told me he was old enough to start sleeping through the night, and that I should start cutting out his night feeds. When I told her it wasn't a problem for me, that I didn't mind nursing him twice at night (for ten minutes each time), she lit into me. I argued back, because after all I've actually read a lot of the research that contradicted what she was saying. We went around and around about cosleeping: she thinks Carter sleeps in a cosleeper sidecarred to our bed (I started lying about that one after the first visit when she made her opinion on bedsharing clear), and she thinks that's bad because OMG he might still be sleeping in our room when he's two!; nursing at night: she said it would cause tooth decay, despite the fact that there's not much evidence to support that for breastfeeding infants; pushing him to sleep through the night: she thinks I'm doing him permanent damage by "conditioning" him to wake up to eat overnight, despite the fact that research suggests human babies NEED to eat overnight, and so on.
When it became clear that I wasn't going to back down, she said, "Well, I'm very anti-attachment parenting. I think it's a horrible way to parent and produces children who are clingy and far too dependent on their parents." At that point, my jaw dropped, and I stopped talking. I decided there was really nothing more I could say to her. She checked over him, but I only nodded or shook my head at her from there on out. She came back and apologized before we left,
and said she had strong opinions and understood that I might disagree with them, but I still left the appointment thinking this was no longer the best pediatrician for my family.
I will only see her for a few minutes every few months, but I don't feel like I can be open with her now. I'm afraid I won't be inclined to tell her things I probably should, because I'll be concerned that she's judging my parenting. So I think it's time to move on. (I posted about this on a local AP group, and already have several recs for new peds, all of whom are much closer to my house anyway.)
But still, yuck. You know? I'm completely confident in my parenting choices, but it's still no fun to be confronted in that way. I'm thinking I might send her an email when we transfer to explain (in a very reasonable way, of course) why I'm leaving the practice. Or should I just quietly slink away?
When it became clear that I wasn't going to back down, she said, "Well, I'm very anti-attachment parenting. I think it's a horrible way to parent and produces children who are clingy and far too dependent on their parents." At that point, my jaw dropped, and I stopped talking. I decided there was really nothing more I could say to her. She checked over him, but I only nodded or shook my head at her from there on out. She came back and apologized before we left,
and said she had strong opinions and understood that I might disagree with them, but I still left the appointment thinking this was no longer the best pediatrician for my family.
I will only see her for a few minutes every few months, but I don't feel like I can be open with her now. I'm afraid I won't be inclined to tell her things I probably should, because I'll be concerned that she's judging my parenting. So I think it's time to move on. (I posted about this on a local AP group, and already have several recs for new peds, all of whom are much closer to my house anyway.)
But still, yuck. You know? I'm completely confident in my parenting choices, but it's still no fun to be confronted in that way. I'm thinking I might send her an email when we transfer to explain (in a very reasonable way, of course) why I'm leaving the practice. Or should I just quietly slink away?
no subject
Plus, she's really, really, really wrong.
I was so worried about a lot of the AP stuff I was doing naturally because it felt right, but all of the conventional advice was how doing those things meant my kid would never learn to do things on her own. My MIL said not to listen to that crap because, as she put it, "They figure it out long before college, trust me." She raised 4 kids who are all independent, well-adjusted adults, two with PhDs and a third on the path to it. A lot of what she did would be considered AP stuff today.
Do what's best for you and your baby and find doctors who are at least supportive, even if they personally disagree. It's okay for people to disagree, but they have to be polite and civil about it.
no subject
That's great that you had someone so supportive of your parenting. Most of the people I know practice AP to some degree, whether they are aware of it or not. I really like the idea of trusting your instincts about your child, and there is a research base for it, which makes it all the better. :-)