It goes back to the issue of people thinking that their children are manipulative and are trying to "control" them.

Yes, that really bothers me as well. But then, I really do not like the idea of one person controlling another one, either. When people start talking about demanding obedience and controlling their kids, I hit the back button. That's just not my thing, yanno?

The people I know with the happiest, nicest, most interesting and well-adjusted kids are the ones who work with them instead of against them, who talk to them and listen in return, who treat their kids like they are people, rather than little puppies to be properly trained. Those are the folks I ask for book recommendations. ;-)