You know, I see a lot of people online describe their children as "strong-willed" or "stubborn" or "defiant" or "willful", and all of their language refers to the desire for unquestioning obedience, for control. And they seem to think that the alternative is kids with no self-discipline whatsoever, who do whatever they want and run wild. That's a false dichotomy, of course, but it can be hard to explain what the alternatives look like in the space of a comment, you know?